Friday, August 11, 2017

The reason he won't call back & why you should reclaim your time

The reason he won't call back , and why you should reclaim your time !

 Have you ever met a guy ya'll hit it off so well , went on a date or two !? Hell you may have even gave it up ! But now he won't answer any of your calls.  I've seen this movie over and over again , I even starred in it a couple of times it always ends up the same. The guy comes out on top * no pun intended*  Honey it's time to RECLAIM YOUR TIME.  In order to play the game you need to be in the game, but you also need to know the rules. This is not your wait 90 days before you let him smash type of article. Grab your pen and paper class is in session.

Before you read any further , you must know what kind of guy you're dealing with. You can't beat your opponent if you don't know your opponent. I find that a lot of times women are afraid to take charge or be assertive when it comes to telling a man what they want. And I think that's because women are portrayed as naggers , pesky, and beggars also gold diggers which is the one word I hate the most. Don't let people make you feel bad for knowing and going after what you want. A Virtuous Girl always knows what she wants and gets what she wants, because she is not afraid of the unpopular opinion. By knowing what you want , you leave very small chance of heartache. Often times we get hurt because we get what we don't want. And we don't get what we want because we don't ASK. It is not safe to assume that a man knows what you want. Down to the most basic demands you have to open your mouth.
    From the initial encounter you need to ask " What is it that you're looking for?  That way both parties are in agreement and are fully aware of the terms and conditions. Think of dating as a commercial. A commercial almost always highlights the great benefits and spends a lot of time telling you why you should buy the product. Now that you're attracted to the product you want it. What the commercial failed to tell you was that by using this product it causes headaches, undue stress, may even cheat on you. Nobody likes to be blindsided , so take your time do your research.

    So now that you have that figured out , its time to understand why he won't call back. Contrary to popular belief men are just as complex as women ( they won't admit it).  

  • He may not be calling back because he HAS A GIRLFRIEND

This is a very obvious point , and once you find out he has a girlfriend you should reclaim your time. Everyone deserves to be happy no matter what , and truth be told you can't reach that optimal level of happiness with something that isn't yours. Period !

  • He's just not that into you. #SorryNotSorry  
Sometimes we don't want to hear the truth. Let's face it we've all had that moment where we liked a guy and had the rest of our lives planned out living together in the big house , white picket fence , and a puppy. Only to find out he wanted that same dream with someone else. It happens , from one girl to another girl MOVE ON , reclaim your time sugar! Your twenties are the most precious years of your life don't waste them chasing  a guy who doesn't want you. The interest should be mutual. Don't be that girl that ends up in the group chat. Say it with me " reclaiming my time"

  • You may be intimidating.  
Sometimes as women we can come off a bit strong , especially when we know what we want. Some guys are used to being the aggressors , so when dealing with a woman who is more aggressive than him he may get intimidated. You may be too independent ( yes its possible) that will also lead a guy to feel intimidated. Find the perfect balance between I can do it on my own if I wanted to but I also know how to accept help.

  • Because he works , goes to school or BOTH
Ladies we can't have our cake and eat it too. The reality of dating is that we have lives outside of the person we date. You can't want your man to be a entrepreneur but you get mad anytime he's at an event or networking.  He can't secure the bag if he's never out getting to the bag. So if you want to keep going on dates let him do his job. For the scary sistas , that are afraid to let their man out the house out of fear that he may encounter other woman at work , when he goes out etc. If you need to keep tabs on your man 24/7 you need to date someone in jail. No man wants to be treated as a child. So if you want to keep your man have faith and trust him. If you can't trust him then its time for you to reclaim your time.

  • You keep talking about your  EX.
Sissss let it GOOOO ! Stop bringing up your ex , no guy wants to keep hearing about what the last guy did. It's done , its over. If you can't stop thinking , talking , and obsessing over your ex it may be best to stop dating until you completely heal. A virtuous girl should possess confidence. Be confident that you did the right thing by kicking the $#$# to the curb.  And if he kicked you to the curb accept the fact that you lost one. In the words of the iconic philosopher Gucci Mane , " Men are like buses miss one next 15 one coming. " Do you get that ?! Why stress when another one about to show up?! And let's not forget what Auntie Yonce said " I could have another you in a minute , matter fact he'll be here in a minute."  Don't be mad , just calmly reclaim your time.

There's a lot to be learned about the dating game , you have to have patience. While dating you'll find that no one is perfect. People change and that's fine as long as its for the better. A guy may not have 100% of what you're looking for , and that is also fine. The 80/20 rule is a perfect example of getting most of what you want. Don't let Mr. Right walk out of your life because he doesn't have everything on your " LIST". This is what your mama should have told you before letting you date. 

1 comment :

  1. Man Listen, Men need to read this as well. If this not the truth, I have no idea what is. Great Read!!!